Singles Set The Standard

If a Man wants you-For the Single Sistas

2007-09-25T22:05:00.001-05:00

This was forwarded to me and I thought I'd share. I always say, you can't make a man love you. He has to love you because he chooses to love you. Your thoughts are welcomed.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't 'be friends.' A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think 'it will get better.' You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about
baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists
of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your
always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Pass this on to at least 10 women and 5 men.
BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT..............

Through God I can and will do all things!

Robert Gray and Keisha Williams Engagement

2007-09-22T22:27:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine sent me an email that had a slideshow of the engagement of the century. Since I haven't posted on this blog in a while, I thought I'd share the slideshow from Atlanta's premiere Wedding and Event photographer,

Ross Oscar Knight Photography.

Here's the slideshow. Turn up your speakers, cause the music is heavenly!

A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP by Rev. Ronald McFadden

2007-07-03T20:16:00.000-05:00

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another.Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

Can an Educated Black Woman get a Black mate?

2006-10-15T19:28:00.000-05:00

Article on the dilemma educated black women have in finding future black mates? Your take on the matter is appreciated.

Is dating really about marriage?

2006-10-15T19:26:00.000-05:00

Article from Christianity Today about dating and marriage. Your feedback is appreciated.

Eharmony

2006-10-15T19:09:00.000-05:00

What are your thoughts on Eharmony and other online dating services? I haven't tried Eharmony yet, but have tried a few others only to be disappointed. Anyone want to share their experiences?

Eharmony: Heart and Soul

Rules for Single Christian Women

2006-10-15T18:52:00.000-05:00

This was a foreward sent to me a year ago or so. Wanted to share.

If you are not a single woman or even a woman at all, send this to your single women friends!

Rules for Single Christian Women

1. Pursue GOD & not a man. (Your first love relationship should be with HIM)
2. Self-Esteem & sense of wholeness' and security can ONLY come from
Christ.
3. Commit to the Lord your desire for a mate. (When GOD brings a hook-up it is for HIS glory and honor)
4. GOD is the perfect match maker
5. I must want God's will more than I want my way.
6. Don't be anxious to marry.
7. Go fishing in the right pond-Date Only Christian Men!
8. Know what you are looking for so when you see him you know him.
9. Consult GOD about the relationship.
10. Don't ignore potential warning signs & red flags and instincts.
11. Don't Marry Potential. ( Ask yourself: If he never changes can I live with that)
12. Ask GOD to reveal anything that is hidden. ( In other words ask GOD to search this brother out to make sure whom he says he is; he is)
13. Your fantasies and expectations can get you into trouble.
14. Remember if a man is interested HE WILL PURSUE YOU!
15. Beware of being in love with the idea of being in love.
16. Stop , Look and Listen: keep your eyes open while dating
17. Develop a friendship first
18. Don't try to make the relationship work
19. Pursue love and not marriage, Marry the one you can not live with out
20. Be Real and who you are!
21. Know YOUR worth and act accordingly.
22. Remain Pure and honor GOD in your dating
23. Love can wait; Lust can not. (If you can wait until you are married it is love, if not, you are feeding on lust)
24. Beware of locking hips and lips.
25. You Never have to comprise your GODLY standards to get/keep a man that GOD has sent for you!
26. Guard your heart.
27. If you are the only one happy about the relationship; something is not right!
28. Don't go down the isle unless you have perfect peace.
29. While you are single concentrate more on inward than outward.
30. Make the most of what you have and the least of what you don't have.
31. Make the most of your singleness.
32. Develop qualities that you are looking for in a mate within yourself.
33. While you are waiting observe other HEALTHY CHRISTIAN marriages.
34. Marriage is not always the better state to be in.
35. The power that GOD has given to you, use it to influence others.

"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

Single Perspective on Dating and Marriage

2006-10-13T19:22:00.000-05:00

Article on Being a Black Man: Dating and Relationships from the Washington Post. Your feedback is appreciated.